”When can I come see the baby?”….”What do you need?”…”How can I help?”….”Can I bring you anything?”
These are all great questions and a wonderful sign that you have a fantastic support team surrounding you and your family during this postpartum period. With the postpartum hormones raging, emotions fluctuating, sleep incredibly hard to find, and so many more of the unknowns that come during this time, it can be hard to know exactly how to answer these questions.
If you have family come to stay with you for a few weeks after the baby is born, they are the perfect candidate to field these questions through so that you can rest and spend your time bonding with your baby. Have a conversation with them or your partner beforehand about your wishes during the first few postpartum weeks. Decide whether you are a mom that craves having her people around her or if you need your space and want a few weeks of just you, your partner and the baby/s. This will help answer the ,”When can I come see the baby?”, question.
Another great option to have is a designated person who can start a food train for your family. When anyone asks , “Can I bring you anything?, you or your support team can direct them to this meal train that will have your family nourished and cared for for the next few weeks.
The trickiest question during the postpartum period will always be, “What do you need?”. This question will more than likely always have a different answer depending on the day and moment that you are asked. This is totally normal and common. Try your best to continue to have at least one person on your support team (partner, family, doula) that you can bare your soul to and share your needs in the moment. Feel free to share the smallest need for a glass of water and a bath to the largest, like help with working through alarming and scary feelings about mothering or your baby.
Building your support team prior to birth is so important in orchestrating and managing your postpartum weeks and months. Talk to your partner about whether you will have family come and support you. Consider hiring an overnight postpartum doula to help you squeeze every bit of rest and sleep out of the time in between feeds and to have an educated support person there to answer any newborn question that may come up.